I have ashen elbows. I know some of you guys are lost. Do not google, at least not just yet. Lemme explain. My elbows have a thing for taking and not giving back. I oil them but they do not retain the lotion. I did not notice this until I got to that age where my looks mattered if I was to get an advantage in making somebody’s daughter like me. Of course, right now it does not really matter, if you know what I am saying, if you don’t then now is the right time for you to google. Apparently google has the answers for everything. Good luck with that😅
For the rest of us who are not googling let us continue. So, I tried using solid oil. I tasted victory but I did not get to enjoy it for long. What happened is that my elbows looked oiled for some time till I stepped out to go to some date. Then abracadabra, white elbows happened. I fell back to the loser position but I wasn’t done just yet. I could not give up. I used the first problem solver that comes into the mind of a millennial. Guess what that is? Of course, you know the answer, Google.
I got about twenty-two million results in 0.24 seconds. Crazy, right? I’m lazy, so I did not go through all of them, and I probably think most of you wouldn’t. I read the first page and laughed. Some of the remedies were ridiculous. There is this particular one that asked me to scrub my elbows with some type of organic toothpaste then rinse it up with baking soda solution. I did not do it. Okay, let me be honest. I did not do all of it. I had never heard of organic toothpastes before and consumer products labelled organic tend to cost quite a dime. So instead, I used my local toothpaste. By local I mean Colgate 😁. I scrubbed my elbows and rinsed them with the solution. Then I waited for them to shine. Oh boy, the disappointment, smh. (For those guys who type with one finger, smh means shaking my head. We got you ☺️). I gave up. Much as I am a fighter, I could not fight fate. I accepted it. I just need to embrace it, which is a hard thing to do.
Much as I would have loved it, this post is not about elbows. It is about Tori. Tori is a common name. So, it is not the Tori that you know of and just to be clear, it is not short for Victoria either. Tori is a dude, an ashen elbow dude. We many out there. Imagine if we could form a gang around the world. I bet we would call it the ashen dudes gang. Not fancy but quite effective. We would rule the world, cause ashen elbow guys are fighters, and we don’t fight just because there is a war. We fight to win. Oiled elbow guys on the other hand are lovers. They take and give back because they love. Welcome to my wild thoughts 😑. Hold on tight cause it’s going to get wilder in here.
Tori is your ordinary kind of dude. He is 23. His digs is some SQ in kileleshwa. Everybody starts from somewhere. It’s not big, just enough for a bed, a kacooking area and his guitar. Bed, since he loves his sleep and laying something that is not eggs. Cooking area, for food. Buying cooked food is expensive out there and he has to survive from the little allowance that he gets monthly from his folks back in shagz. Plus, he is one of those guys who don’t see the need for HELB. Guitar, since he loves music. He has been playing it since he was ten. He is in a band. They play every Monday in some club in Westy. I have heard them play. These guys will be famous someday, sautisol famous. They just need time. He has a moustache going. I asked if he would shave it. He said no. It’s for the ladies. It attracts them to him. I have never heard of a moustache attracting ladies, beards maybe. Anyway, it is the twenty first century and anything is believable. He is almost finishing Campo. He is actually doing some engineering course. I did not catch the name, lie. I caught the name but since I promised to keep his identity confidential, I will just lie to you guys that I didn’t catch it. I hope we good with this.
When it comes to ladies, Tori is a ladies’ man. He loves ladies. He is an ass guy. He has lost count of his body count. I guess the moustache thing is working after all. Perhaps I should grow a moustache, new thought. So basically, Tori is one of the dudes who know how to sink their shots, and his shots are always 3 pointers. He has never missed, at least not until he met her.
They met at a party in juja. Everybody knows juja parties are always lit. From the drinks to the hype, then the chiqs, they never disappoint. Let me not forget the weed. He does not remember what the party was all about. He remembers the moment she walked in though.
It was in the middle of the night. He was exhausted. He had been taking shots for some time now and they were starting to take effect on him. He thought he was dreaming when he first saw her. She looked angelic, but surely angels don’t attend parties in juja. And definitely they don’t wear dresses with a slit as big as hers. And they don’t have a nose job. Plus, angels are always depicted as males, he has never heard of any female angel. Bottom line, she wasn’t an angel. Just a chiq in a sexy white dress with a slit to show off her curvy legs.
Nobody noticed her entrance. They were all high, except him. This did not last long though. He got high just then. She became his new weed, and he definitely loved this kind of highness. It was dope. It had a warm feeling. He had to get more of it. He had to walk to her and ask for more of this. Walk he did. Talk he didn’t.
The walk wasn’t hard. He had done it so many times until he at times felt that he was born to do this. Of course, he kept to his rules. Always look directly at your prey when going for the kill. Maintain eye contact and you will definitely get her attention. Don’t bounce. That is so old school. Never put on an emoji face. (Googlers, that’s your assignment for now). He followed all these rules. Okay I forgot some of them, let me just say everyone has a way of doing things. He got her attention alright. He now just had to open his mouth and finish the kill. He opened his mouth. That was easy, but then the words, they deserted him. It is as if they had got tired of doing this. Imagine the letters having a meeting. The agenda, ‘The downfall of Tori’. Most probably the venue is in the voice box. Of course, we know which letter would chair the meeting. Letter A, because A is always the leader. The secretary would probably be W. Why W? W looks like a neat letter. It looks organized. Probably if it was a human then it would be a female with a Sheila name. W is the type of letter that if you had the chance of taking out for a date then she would dip her fries in a splurge of ketchup on the side of her plate instead of spreading the ketchup all over her fries. W is that neat. Letter I looks like the member who always sleeps in the meeting. I looks lazy. S is probably the slay mama of the bunch. S would be the lady walking in the meeting late with some dope outfit and an oustanding cologne just so everybody can notice it. S is curvy. All the right junk in the right places (Meghan Trainor line 😉). T would probably be the one to start the meeting with a prayer. I could go on, but I want you guys to focus. I told you I had wild thoughts.
He was speechless. This had never happened to him before. He had never thought this would happen so he had never made a plan B. He tried shutting his mouth. It didn’t close. His mouth seemed to have also attended the meeting at the voice box. Most probably the mouth had chaperoned the bunch.
So, there he was. Looking ridiculous in front of this pretty lady. She laughed. Then told him that he was the first dude to use his mouth as a pick-up line. That was the ice breaker. He laughed too. Words came back. He started talking. It wasn’t the kind of talk he made to chiqs he intended to lay and push aside. Nothing about being his girl nor them going steady. It was just small but intimate talk. He had never found somebody as real her. She gave him her mind and he bored into it. It was the purest kind of weed. He was hooked.
Her name was Felicia. She did computer science. She was in her final year. Like Tori, she had come for a good time. It had been a tough week. She needed something to relieve the stress of school work. She had decided to stay indoors for a movie but found it hard to concentrate on the movie. She just was not feeling the vibe. Her body was in a party mood, and where else would she find a good party than at juja?
Tori took her number. They met a couple of times after that as friends. They always had something to talk about. Tori was not a WhatsApp person but Felicia made him change. He could open his phone in the middle of a lecture and just smile sheepishly. Of course, his neighbor would want to know why he is smiling. He would say it’s a meme. His neighbor is the inquisitive type. He’ll lean in to see the meme but Tori would be fast. He would close that window before his neighbor takes a look. They are not ready for Felicia, at least not just yet.
Slowly, Tori was having this weird feeling. He had never felt it before. His heart was softening. He was learning to love. He was learning to be faithful. He had never invited anybody else to his digs after meeting Tori. He was learning to be loyal. He grew. His personality changed. He was looking at his future. He changed his direction in life. Even school seemed a lot bearable after meeting Felicia. She made him burst out of his bubble. She was his motivation. He just needed to change their relationship from buddies to a couple. He had found a gem, he needed to take it and own it before somebody else did. Of course, from my earlier description of Tori, you probably think he put a ring on it.
I hate to spoil your perfect happy ever after Disney ending. It would not be a fun life if we did not have twist and turns. Tori was scared. He was scared of not being able to be the man Felicia deserved. He was scared of cheating on Felicia. He was scared of hurting Felicia’ s feelings and most importantly he was scared of rejection. He had never been rejected before.
So, what my guy did was stick in the friend zone. He did not make an effort to let Felicia know how he felt. He knew that she was the one, he just could not make the final move. He feared he would end this beautiful relationship that they had.
One day he got a call, from one of those unknown numbers. He was in class. He didn’t pick it up. The caller called for the second time. Again, he ignored it. His phone rang for the third time. Now this had to be important. He picked it up and quickly told the caller to text him. The caller hanged up. He did not know what to make of the caller. Then his phone buzzed. A text, from the unknown caller. He looked at it and chuckled. The text said, Felicia is dead.
He did not believe it. He left class immediately and made the call. This time he got to hear the caller’s voice. It wasn’t pleasing. It was a man and from it’s huskiness, probably an old man. it did not portray any feelings. He still remembers it every time. It rings in his mind. It haunts him in his dreams. It is a nightmare that has never faded. Yes, Felicia was dead. She had been stabbed by some robber. The caller was an officer. He had gotten his number from Felicia’s roommate. Apparently, Felicia had left school at around 9 in the evening. She had been working late on a project. That was the last time she was seen alive. Her body was found the next day dumped in a ditch. Her phone, laptop and bag were all missing.
Felicia’s body was laid to rest. Tori did not attend the funeral. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to. He was stuck in a hospital bed. And no, he had not tried to kill himself. It was food poisoning.
Thank you for reading this, and sorry for some of the late email replies😊 Yes ,am done with my exams. Please dont forget to like, share and comment.( comment on the menu box.)
Yesterday was women’s day, I just want to thank all the women who have made me who I am and who have been there for me. From the women in my family , to my friends , thank you so much. Thanks for the support.Though a day late, Happy women’s day❤️💕.