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You avoid my gaze, you’re sad. I’m sad . He’s done it again , made you cry. You don’t want to admit it , you still love him . I still love you. Why do I love you, why do you love him, why do we love if only to hurt. You say I love with my head and you love with your heart. You say I’m pragmatic. I disagree . If I was , I wouldn’t be still hanging on to the hope that you’ll see him for who he is , a cheat , a heartache. I wouldn’t still be hoping you’d see me as that man of your dreams . Instead you see me as the boy you grew up with, the boy who’s got your back. Is it too much to ask to have your heart too?

Maybe I’m being selfish , what we have is good, I shouldn’t go on asking for more . I should be content with you being around , you calling me best friend , you knowing what I want before I even know what I want , you being able to read my emotions, laughing at my silly jokes , you parting my eye brows , admiring them , wishing they were yours. You …Yes , just maybe I am being too selfish , putting you in a dilemma, of trying not to disappoint me and trying not to fake a feeling.

You went back to him. I asked you not to , you reminded me that you weren’t me. That you are whimsical. I said you were wrong, you aren’t whimsical, you’re lost . Trying to find love in a cold heart , missing the love that’s in front of you. That maybe you will forever be a slave of the cold heart.Trying to love for two and hoping to spark some love in the heart , make it warmer. You looked hurt by those words , wanted to cry, but held on. You walked away.

Three weeks on and it seems like years to me. Just like Kodaline, all I want is nothing more, than to hear you knocking on my door. Cause if I could see your face once more , Id say I’m sorry…


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